the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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