We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
