How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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