Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
