dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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