god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
