YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
