so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
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