Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
