This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
