We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
