Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
