Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can feel your judgement through the phone
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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