Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need moral support for this bender
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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