Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize