At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize