honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
