Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
