Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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