i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
