Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
