Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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