Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize