I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
