i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
