Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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