I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
