Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
