in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
