Umm I'm too high to move.
one might say we're banned from that church
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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