Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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