Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
