We named our party play list daddy issues
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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