I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
