I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
