Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize