brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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