Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
