if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
