I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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