Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
