Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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