would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
