Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
