ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
