So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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