"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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