So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Pooping to opera.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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