How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
