Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
