I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
