yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
