I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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