i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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