Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
