I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
