I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize