Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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