yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize