By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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